What is the influence of emotion?
You’ve seen those TV commercials about donating to the animal shelters. They feature Sarah McLachlan singing a super-sad song, and the video shows one shot after another of sick and starving dogs, shivering in the cold. It tugs at your heart–and is meant to do just that. The producers know that people are moved to action by emotional appeals.
How can we leverage emotion to provide self-motivation as well as a tool we can use in our influence with other people and situations?
Pathos–emotional appeal–is one of our most powerful resources.
The appeal to emotions can be constructive or destructive, so we need to understand it and learn to use it wisely.
In my prior post I discussed the role of Logos, or reason and logic.
Here, I’m focusing on emotions, on what the Greek philosopher Aristotle called Pathos as part of his treatise on persuasion–the art of Rhetoric.
I’m not discussing rhetoric here from a purely technical and classical standpoint. Rather, my spin on these things is on how they may provide categories of how we think about our overall influence in the contemporary world.
Pathos in the history of philosophy
But before doing that, let’s go ahead and consider how Pathos has been treated in the history of philosophy. Bear with me, I’ll get to the practical stuff, not to worry.
Pathos, in Greek philosophy and rhetoric, referred to emotions,
and the emotional appeal as part of persuasion in particular. It is most often associated with Aristotle (384-322 BCE), but its use in rhetoric pre-dates him. Plato (c.428-c.348 BCE) was Aristotle’s teacher, and he also made reference to pathos. Plato and Aristotle had much in common, but they differed in some important ways. Plato leaned to the abstract in his philosophy, whereas Aristotle was more practical. Many of us, for that reason, may relate more to Aristotle. Not that you’ve thought much at all about Aristotle one way or another, but hey, I’m giving you the easiest lesson on Greek philosophy you’ll have, well, this week anyhow!
Plato, was concerned with the downsides of pathos in rhetoric and oratory. He could see how it might become manipulative, and should have more limited use. He argued that appealing to emotions should be a means to an end, and not the entire argument. Plato makes a good point, and we should heed his caution (he is Plato, after all, and people still talk about his ideas more than 2000 years later. Give him some credit).
Aristotle, however, emphasized pathos
and how itcould be part of a balanced approach to rhetoric, to influencing an audience. Aristotle looked more on the practical side of pathos, and how a speaker could intentionally leverage it for persuasion. I’ll extend that and say that Pathos, along with Logos and Ethos (which is the one I’ll discuss in my next post) are to this day paradigms for how we can exert influence of our own.
If you happen to do public speaking or presentations of any kind, note that Aristotle identifies the introduction and the conclusion as the most important points for the emotional appeal. Keep this in mind even for more informal interactions and conversations. Those aren’t all that different from public speaking. You may address an audience of just one or two, rather than a crowd, but principles of persuasion are the same.
Let’s skip ahead to the period of the Enlightenment in the 17th and 18th centuries. Enlightenment thinkers and philosophers emphasized logic and reason, and were skeptical of emotions. John Locke, for example, was known for his emphasis on reason, and had wide influence on politics, government, and religion.
The Scottish philosopher and minister George Campbell cautioned whether appeals to emotion might be “an unfair method of persuasion.” That is, recognizing that emotions can be manipulative. Let’s put George Campbell on the same team as Plato. And guess what–they’re right. Emotion is powerful, and we need to proceed with caution.
The Cambridge English Dictionary defines pathos as “the power of a person, situation, piece of writing, or work of art to cause feelings of sadness, especially because people feel sympathy.”
In this blog post I am using pathos and “emotions” somewhat interchangeably, although do recognize that they are not precise synonyms.
Think about the many words we use that have pathos as part of their root:
- Empathy
- Sympathy
- Pathetic
- Pathology
- Apathy
- Psychopath
- Path, or Pathway
What is the role of emotion in our lives?
Emotions help us survive.
That’s right, emotions are a built-in survival mechanism. Men especially may minimize emotions and their importance, writing them off as representing weakness, or lack of masculinity. But think about it–when faced with danger, what do you feel? Fear, right? Experiencing fear can kick your survival instincts into motion, causing you to fight, to flee, or whatever you need to survive. Feeling anger may also cause us to take action against a threat. Simply put, our emotions can prepare our body to take action. They can help us react quickly to situations when there is not time to think through with reason and logic. There are times when that quick reaction can actually save our lives. So yes, the ability to feel and act upon emotion has a very practical side to it.
Emotions activate and interact with our thoughts and memories.
Emotions put us into a frame of mind where it is easier to think about or recall certain things. When we feel happy, we’re more likely to think of happy thoughts and memories. Likewise, recalling happy memories may in turn trigger emotions of happiness. The same goes for all other emotions–sadness, melancholy, grief, joy, hope, pride, relief, anxiety, anger, disgust, surprise, fear, shame, etc. As you read this list, see if you can recall a time when you felt or experienced each one of these emotions. Our thoughts and memories revolve to a great degree around how we were feeling at the time, and how these things make us feel now.
Emotions facilitate interpersonal relationships.
Emotions help us to understand ourselves and others. They are what enable us to protect our children, love our spouse, develop friendships, and even engage in social and cultural pleasantries. A person who is not in touch with their emotions, or who is unable to experience them, may have clinical challenges that prevent them from engaging in normal human relationships. Likewise, the more we are in touch with what we are feeling, and able to identify it, the more we are able to find joy and satisfaction in our relationships with others.
Emotions drive our decisions.
As mentioned in the beginning of this post, emotions are what move us to action. They are what cause us to donate our time and money. They are what cause us to buy things (advertisers know this!). Also to regret buying things (buyer’s remorse). Emotions are part of our decision-making process, for better or for worse. Emotions can cause us to act positively and decisively, or to act foolishly and hastily. This is where self-awareness comes in. Knowing what we are feeling, and having control over those feelings, is an asset in our decision-making, leadership, and relationships.
Emotional Intelligence
You may be familiar with “Emotional Intelligence.” One definition of this is: “The ability to understand the way people feel and react and to use this skill to make good judgments and to avoid or solve problems” (Cambridge English Dictionary).
The concept of “Emotional Intelligence” has been around for decades, and was popularized by Daniel Goleman in his book, Emotional Intelligence (1995). Goleman’s work has been critiqued and built on by others over the years. He describes five elements that make up emotional intelligence:
- Self-awareness
- Self-regulation
- Motivation
- Empathy
- Social skills
Essentially, “emotional intelligence” is awareness of how emotions affect our behaviors, and the ability to control and manage those emotions–in ourselves and in others.
This is a skill that can be learned, not just something with which you are born. Just imagine the real-life settings and situations where this skill could enhance your influence and leadership:
- When faced with tight deadlines, or challenging budget situations.
- When dealing with a complaining customer, parishioner, etc.
- When receiving critique and feedback from others.
- During a job interview.
- Dealing with failure.
- When someone comes to you for counsel.
- When having to correct or critique someone else.
Each of these are stressful situations, and times when emotions will happen. The question is whether we are ruled by emotions in those times, or rather have emotional control. This includes awareness of our own emotions as well as those of the other person. Emotional Intelligence is our friend, helping us to read the emotional levels of various situations. This skill helps us defuse tensions, motivate ourselves and others, and think clearly under pressure.
The Lizard Brain
You’ve heard of the “Lizard Brain,” right? This is a popular way of referring to the amygdala, in our brain stem, that is responsible for “fight or flight” types of reactions. Popular marketing whiz Seth Godin has written and spoken quite a bit on “quieting the lizard brain.” There is actually an important biological function of the lizard brain, in that sometimes it is necessary to fight or flee, to perceive danger and respond from fear.
The problem is, these days we don’t face so many predatory threats the way our ancestors did. Physical threats are the kinds of things that the lizard brain is made for. Now, unfortunately, the lizard brain kicks in at the most inopportune times. Just when we need to be in control, to think clearly for sensible decision-making, to be a non-anxious presence–the lizard brain can rear its head and take over. In those times, we can end up making terrible decisions, alienating others, operating from fear.
We don’t have to give control to the lizard. This is where the skills of Emotional Intelligence come in–self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy. Recognizing that this part of our brain tries to take over during times of stress is half of the battle. This is where understanding pathos matters.
Influence and leadership with Pathos
Aristotle considered pathos as one of the three elements of persuasion in rhetoric. I’m expanding the way we think of it to include our overall influence and leadership. Our influence is enhanced, and we become a more visible person, when we exercise emotional intelligence.
It is a matter of balancing the things we say and the words we use (logos) with what we and others are feeling.
Influencing with pathos also means avoiding manipulation involving emotions. Classical rhetoric did not see pathos as a crass opportunity to take advantage of emotions. Rather, it recognized that emotions are part of the whole person, and that persuasion in oratory needed to leverage them appropriately. As I noted, there are those from Plato to George Campbell who have cautioned against manipulation of emotions. Understanding emotions and how they work, developing emotional intelligence, and recognizing the effect of the “lizard brain” are all part of appropriate recognition of emotions in our leadership and influence.
Appropriate use of emotions in leadership and influence also depends on our Ethos, which is the third element of Aristotle’s rhetoric. This refers to a person’s character, their overall presentation, and why they should be trusted. A person who stoops to manipulating emotions is lacking in ethos. I’ll unpack ethos in the next post.
Some practical tips for the influence of emotion
What are some ways to develop the skill of emotional intelligence? To get more in touch with our own emotions and what others are feeling? People reveal their emotions in many ways, so it helps to I offer here a few suggestions:
- Eye contact. The eyes tell us a great deal about what is going on inside. Sharing eye contact, helps you enter into that inner world.
- Body language. People will tell you how they are feeling by the position of their body. Be aware of your own body language, and that of others. Learn the difference between an open posture and one that is closed and defensive.
- Read the face. Our face shows so much. There is a reason we take photos or do portraits of just the face of people, rather than some other body part. The face IS the person, and reveals thoughts and emotions without any words expressed. Every muscle twitch, set of the lips or jaw, smiling (or not), every squint of the eye–each of these are a window into a person’s feelings and thoughts.
- Be present. A popular way of expressing this these days is “mindfulness.” That is, the skill of being present in the moment. This kind of mindful presence can be developed when you are by yourself or with others. Be aware of your own body, your breathing, and notice the things around you.
- The voice. A person’s voice also reveals much of what they are feeling. Listen not just to the words people say, but how they say them. A person who is excited, stressed, or anxious will often raise their voice and talk faster. A person who is relaxed or happy will reflect that in their voice. We use our voice to communicate words (logos), but the tone and pacing reveal even more layers of meaning. Pay attention not only to the words, but to the voice.
- Social cues. These are the signals we send to others about how we’re feeling. Social cues are often communicated through body language, tone of voice, looking away, pauses, and so on. Be aware of social cues as to when someone is feeling distracted or impatient, or when they want to end a conversation.
- Active listening. Listening is more than just the physical response of your ears hearing the sounds another person makes. It is engaging your whole self to process what another is saying. Active listening involves verbal and nonverbal feedback to the conversation. Active listening allows for pauses and spaces without needing to “fill in.” Active listening will involve all of the other tips I’ve listed here.
The influence of emotion–Call to Action
If you have read the post to this point, identify something, even one thing from the practical tips, that may help you understand and appropriately leverage the role of emotions in our lives. Practice that one thing. This will enhance your visibility as a leader, as a person of influence, in whatever your season of life.
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Related posts:
The Language of Influence–Part I (Rhetoric)
The Influence of your Words–Part II (Logos)
