What does “Life Expectancy” mean?
Depending on the source, life expectancy in the US is currently right around 79 years. That’s averaging men and women, and all races together. Give or take a bit, but there it is.
If you’re 40 years old, by that standard you’ve already lived half of your life.
If you are 55 years old, well, you get the idea…
Of course, many people live longer than 79 years. Many don’t live that long. But because someone (probably insurance companies) have worked out what the average is, it becomes easy to see that age as our entitled goal, our expiration date. That somehow we assume we’ll live that long, if not longer.
Traditionally, the phrase “three score and ten” was seen as representing a full and long life. This phrase comes from the book of Psalms, chapter 90: “The Days of our years are threescore and ten,” which is an old-fashioned way of saying “70” (a “score” was twenty. 3 x 20 +10 = 70). So even in ancient Israel, more than 2000 years ago, living to age seventy was seen as pretty good.
In any case, just because the average life expectancy is 79 years, we’re not guaranteed that length of time. It’s just an average. In this case, “expectancy” refers to where we see our end point. Our expiration date. We can expect, at some point, for our life to end.
This is how we’re used to talking about “life expectancy.” Kind of depressing, isn’t it? It seems more like “death expectancy.”
But what if we think of “life expectancy” in different terms?
Not how many years we may live, but what do we “expect” of this life, of our time on this earth?
When a woman is pregnant, we often euphemistically say she is “expecting.” New life is within her, and she is anticipating and looking forward to the time when she can hold her baby in her arms. She is looking forward to beginnings, not to endings.
What are you expecting of this life? Are you anticipating and looking forward to something new? Or are you caught in a “Groundhog Day” cycle of the same old thing, for the foreseeable future, until you reach your expiration date?
Synonyms of “expectancy” or “expectant” include words like these:
Alert, anticipation, eager, hopeful, prepared, ready, vigilant, hope.
Do these words describe how you feel about your life, your future?
For some people, anticipation and hope lies with plans for retirement, something that may yet be years away.
Today, right now, is really the only time we have to work with. We can’t change the past, and our future is not guaranteed. What we do in the present will influence our future, but we can’t live in the future either. We can plan and prepare for the future, but we can only live in the now.
What if ‘life expectancy’ is not looking toward the day when we will die, but rather focusing on the life we expect to live right now? Every day, we all are getting older. We can’t get younger, and shouldn’t try. We can’t keep from getting older either, and shouldn’t try. But we can live our best life here and now. We can be the best version of ourselves, in our inner and outer lives.
What are you “expecting” of life? What steps are you taking to achieve your expectations? If you are feeling “stuck” in your current season, there are steps you can take to jar things loose and make the most of your season.
Define your identity–tell your own story
People change. Adults continue to develop throughout their life-cycle. There was a time when studies in human development focused mainly on birth to young adulthood. Admittedly, this is the time of life when greatest change seems to occur. But that doesn’t mean development simply stops. Adults don’t reach a plateau by age 30 and then stay basically the same until old age and death. We have learned that adults continue to work through stages of development throughout their lives. There are transitions between these stages that are themselves micro seasons of development.
You want to get the most out of the seasons and transitions of adulthood, to leverage them to your advantage. It helps to recognize the changes you’ve experienced, and that you are not the same person you were ten or twenty years ago. it helps to continue to re-define your identity as an adult.
I’ll develop how to do this more completely in a future post, but for now, do recognize and accept the fact that change occurs throughout adulthood. Life Expectancy requires you to re-define and re-negotiate with yourself who you are in each season of life.
A helpful tip in this regard is to take responsibility for defining yourself, and not allowing others to define you. It is too easy to develop our own self-understanding based on what other people think or say about us. To be sure, our identity is certainly shaped by our history and context, and influenced by others. But it is still your option to control your own narrative, to tell your own story.
Set goals
Having something you’re working toward helps prevent “Groundhog Day” syndrome, of feeling like you’re stuck in a cycle and going nowhere.
Some people set goals for everything in their lives. You may already be organized like that. Not everyone is. I’m not. Some of us do well to have even a couple of goals.
If you’re in a space where you’re feeling “stuck,” and currently functioning without identifiable goals, this may be the time to sit down and create some. And think outside of your work or professional life. Many people are used to working with goals in that context. But what about you personally? Do you have goals for your own development and improvement as a person?
There are lots of resources on goal-setting. Just google and you can find many articles, books, courses, etc. So nothing I say here is new information. But it never hurts for a quick review.
Some tips on goal-setting:
- Choose something that matters to you. Something that is relevant, that will make you a better person.
- Make sure it is attainable. If it isn’t really attainable, then it is more of a dream than a goal. It is ok to have dreams too, most of us do. All of us have a bit of the “Walter Mitty” inside of us. But we don’t function in the world of dreams day-to-day. Reasonable goals are what keep us moving forward. And who knows, maybe if we accomplish enough of our goals then some of our dreams will come true as well?
- Write it down. Somehow the act of writing it down makes it more real. You can type it out, of course, if you prefer. But there is something to be said for the old-school approach of using a pen and paper. Get a little notebook that you can use for things like this, and write down your goals.
- Tell someone about it. Just as with writing it down, telling someone of your goal creates accountability and support.
- Create a plan. Just having a goal isn’t enough. Break it down into actionable steps that you can measure as you accomplish them.
- Don’t give up!
Stretch your comfort zone–do something that is hard
In mid-life we can tend to settle, to play it safe, to go with what we know. But the way to growth and getting unstuck is to try something new. Don’t set goals that are just a refinement of things you already do. Try something different, something that will stretch you, something that is hard, something that will add value to your life.
Think of the Dos Equis “Most Interesting Man in the World.” How did he get to be so interesting? Not by playing it safe, doing only what he knows, never trying anything new.
What might be something new, for you? Perhaps you could learn a new language (now there’s something hard! But download the DuoLingo app and give it a try!). Maybe join Toastmasters and develop your public speaking skills. Get a guitar and learn to play it. Learn photography. Something, anything, that will enhance your life and make you more interesting to others–and to yourself.
In my case, starting this newsletter / blog is the fulfillment of a goal that I’ve been thinking about and working toward for the past couple of years.
It would have been easier for me just not to do it…
It requires a commitment of time (I spent several hours this weekend thinking through and writing this post), and of learning some new skills. Mailchimp, for example, was new to me and I had to figure out how to create a newsletter with it. I worked on it off and on for several weeks before sending my first post. It shouldn’t have been that hard, but for me, that sort of thing is like learning a new language.
Now, for the next step I’m working on developing a WordPress website, where I’ll transition the newsletters as blog posts. That way anyone that has the link will be able to access it.
I’m finding that building a WordPress website is extraordinarily difficult. At least it is for me. I thought that creating a Mailchimp newsletter was hard, but not like this! Admittedly, I may end up needing some help to get it done before long (learn when to ask for help!), but I’ve been studying and working at it. I know more about building a website now than I did before. So, that’s progress toward a goal.
The point being that I don’t have to do this newsletter / blog. It isn’t part of my work responsibilities. The main benefit is my own personal development, in my thinking and writing, in technical skills, and in being able to pass something of value along to others.
If I didn’t do this, I would have more time for watching Netflix. So then.
Take some risks
This is related to stretching your comfort zone, but not exactly the same. You can stretch yourself and try something hard without it representing much of an actual risk.
Learning to play the guitar may be hard, but there’s not much risk to it. That is, unless you decide to join a band and get up on the stage at a club. Yeah, I can see some risks to that.
Risk involves something that has potential benefit, but also potential or inherent danger or downside. It doesn’t have to be something major or life threatening. You don’t have to wrestle a python or become a test pilot in order to take a risk. In fact, it may not involve physical danger at all.
Risk may be physical, but also professional, relational, social, financial, etc.
Risk doesn’t have to be an end in itself, but ideally can serve some larger purpose as part of your life expectancy.
Probably the biggest risk I have taken was a number of years ago when I was about 45. I had been serving for many years as pastor of adult ministries in a sizeable church, a position that I liked and knew well. It would have been easy to stay on, or to look for something similar or that would be a natural stepping stone to advancement.
Instead, I had the opportunity to serve as regional director with a small, but nationwide, campus ministry organization. I had never worked in campus ministry before. And what is more, this position didn’t come with a salary–I had to raise my own support from donors to the ministry. This involved basically becoming a salesman, convincing others of the value of the ministry and of what I would be doing.
Understand–I was 45 years old, with two kids, ages 9 and 13 at the time. I left a reasonably well-paying position for something that seemed like, well, a big risk. But I was convinced of the importance and value of the new role, and believed strongly that it was what I should do.
And it was hard, and there was risk.
Raising support was not easy, but I did it. The networking I did for the role was not easy, but I did it. We had several significant successes, and added some key people, in ways that in the long-term contributed to establishing the ministry for a solid future.
I was only with that organization for three or four years, when it morphed into a position with another organization in the Portland area. Meanwhile, I sought out the opportunity to do some adjunct teaching. Once I got started with that, it led to other opportunities. Before long I was teaching or advising at three different institutions in the Portland area, and teaching online for an out-of-state university with a very large and well-known online program.
Ultimately, these different roles and opportunities segued into a full time academic administrator position with a nationally known doctoral program at George Fox University, where I have been since 2008. I’ve had amazing experiences in this role, and have developed a network of colleagues around the world.
None of this would have happened if I had not taken the risk. I probably would have left that church for something else eventually. But if I had I gone to something safer, I would not have grown and had the experiences I’ve had over the years.
Now, taking a risk doesn’t require quitting your job.
It doesn’t mean going mountain climbing or kayaking waterfalls (although it might).
But a risk might involve something unexpected, something with potential upside and downside–which it is depends on what you make of it. It might be a big risk. Or it might just be a small one. But do be willing to risk from time to time.
So, what do you expect?
What is your Life Expectancy? Most of you reading this are at some point of mid-life. No one knows the days or years that remain.
What are you expecting? What are you doing to realize those expectations? I hope you will take control of your own narrative, and tell the story of your life the way you want it to be.
Related posts:
https://cliffordberger.com/what-do-i-mean-by-life-and-style/
https://cliffordberger.com/how-to-leave-a-legacy/
