Why traditions matter more than ever.
For the past two years or so, many parts of our lives have seemed to come apart at the seams. Or, to get pretty frayed at the least. I don’t need to describe the frustrations, fears and uncertainties created by the COVID pandemic, economic uncertainties, and chaotic politics. We’ve all felt them. We’ve seen the effects on families, friendships, and in the workplace.
People cope with the stresses and changes in many ways. Some are helpful, some not.
I propose that a renewed emphasis on traditions and rituals can help us through times like this. Or though any times, for that matter.
And what better season to emphasize traditions than the end-of-year holiday season?
Before I say more–yes, there is value in change! There is beauty in innovation and fresh ideas. I get that, and am all for it.
But there is value in tradition as well, in the rootedness that comes from connecting with the rituals and practices of others, and in preserving our own memories and priorities. Keeping traditions helps us focus on others and what they have left for us, and not just on ourselves.
Our English word, tradition, comes from the Latin via Old French. The Oxford English Dictionary points to an origin in the 13th century, the act of handing over or transmitting an idea, concept, or religious teaching for safekeeping. Certainly, tradition is often associated with religion, but it goes way beyond that to many parts of our lives.
If you’ve been a regular reader here on “A Seasoned Life,” you know that I like to focus on perspectives that come with the passing of time. So, examining something like tradition, and connecting the past with the present, is like catnip to me. I set out in this post just to write a little something about our family Christmas traditions, but find it tempting to go down a rabbit hole for a deep dive on the subject of tradition in general. But I’m going to discipline myself to keep it simple! I do want to ruminate on tradition just a little, and then loop into why the holiday season makes traditions easy and fun. Bear with me.
The word tradition or traditional can get either positive or negative spin. It depends on the context. At holiday time, the word tends to have a rosy glow. Other times, like in a business meeting, it might be seen as something holding everyone back (we’ve always done it this way!)
For now, I’ll focus on the positives of tradition. I’ll write about the need for innovation and change another time.
Why do traditions and rituals matter? And how might they give stability in difficult and chaotic times?
Keeping traditions does not mean giving up on change or creativity. It just means that in the midst of change and even chaos, it is important to remember. To remember who we are and where we have come from. Who we are and what we have did not start with us. It started with others over much time past. Each generation adds a little something to it, something for the future to remember. We can add to our traditions, update them, and create new ones. Rules don’t apply!
Some traditions are just fun and even a little goofy. Sports come to mind. Think of football fans who go shirtless in frosty weather, torsos painted in team colors. Yeah, those guys. They’re carrying on a tradition.
Just recently I watched on TV as our hometown Major League Soccer team, the Portland Timbers, played the New York City Football Club for the MLS championship. And lose to them. But it was oh so close! I’m new to MLS soccer, this being one of the first games I’ve watched, even on TV. Evidently, the fans of the “Timbers Army” have developed a number of traditions that keep a game’s excitement going. One of these is that every time the Timbers score a goal, a guy with a chainsaw cuts a round off the end of a log. Then the player that scored the goal runs around with it hoisted above his head, while the crowd sings, chants, and shoots off green smoke cannons.
Yeah, I can see becoming a fan of that! Also, at the 80th minute of home games the crowd joins in singing, “You Are My Sunshine.” Wait, what? Such a delightfully random tradition! The soccer version of “Take me out to the Ball Game” in baseball’s 7th inning stretch. Is the song just wistful aspiration in cloudy, rain-soaked Portland? Or maybe it expresses the fans’ love and dedication to the team? It is a wonderful tradition. And it turns out that there is a backstory to how it developed, as is often the case with good traditions: https://www.timbers.com/news/oregonian-explains-origin-you-are-my-sunshine-backcut
See? The tradition is delightful on its own. But if you know that backstory, it carries an even deeper meaning.
This is often the case. Many traditions have a story, and serve as an impetus for people to come together, to tell the story, to remember, and to connect. The act or ritual may seem random and disconnected, to all but those who know the story.
Traditions are one way that memories of people from the past stay alive in the present. Traditions that carry a story connect us to those people. Creating and keeping traditions also preserves our own memories. The stories and traditions we create now become a legacy in the future. Tradition and ritual connects us to the past, enriches the present, and paves a way for the future. The religions of the world have long understood the importance of this.
So then, how about those Christmas and holiday traditions?
In my family, when our kids were growing up, we didn’t do a lot with holidays, except for Christmas. For that, we went all out. We borrowed traditions, tried some that didn’t stick, and made up new ones. I could list a number of them that we practice, large and small, but I’ll mention just a few.
Some of our rituals revolve around the tree, as with many people. We still go to a nearby tree farm and pick one out to cut fresh. Since Oregon is the nation’s #1 producer of Christmas trees, that makes it easy.
Our family has several traditions that revolve around the tree, but one of the most meaningful has to do with how we dispose of it after Christmas. Many people have the yard debris recycling pick it up, or leave it to the Boy Scouts (do they still do that?). We do something a little different.
After we un-decorate the tree and take it outside, I lop off all the branches. These I do put into the recycling. But I keep the tree trunk and leave it beside the house to dry, under an eave. It spends an entire year there.
Prior to the next Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, I cut last year’s Christmas tree trunk into fireplace-length pieces. Our family then has a little ritual of burning last year’s tree trunk in the fireplace as part of the current year’s celebration.
This simple tradition enables our family to intentionally connect the seasons and the memories of past years, while making new memories in the present. There is something positive in recognizing the rhythms and cycles of time shared with family. It also maximizes the life of the tree, serving first as a decoration, and a year later adding warmth and light.
That is just one example. Of course, you need a wood-burning fireplace or stove for this one, but you get the idea. There are many simple ways of creating or borrowing small rituals or traditions that can enrich our lives, and the Christmas season is one of the easiest times to do so. There are so many possibilities in a season filled with food, dressing up, gifts, decorations, and so on. Perhaps a favorite Christmas movie (Die Hard, anyone?).Maybe some new thing you serve to eat or drink, or something quirky you wear for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, or New Year’s Day. Why not? Make it unlike other days–that’s why we have holidays!
Think about some of the things you are already doing, and consider how some intentionality and purpose could make it into a tradition. Some up with a story to go with it, and pass that along to your family. Traditions and rituals without a story may seem like random practices. It is the story that gives power to traditions. It doesn’t even have to be a powerful, mystical tale. Some simple or amusing connection will do. If you are in midlife or older, you have plenty of life experience and memories to draw from–so now is the time to invoke that and become the curator for passing those memories and traditions along to others. The great thing about tradition is that it doesn’t look just to the past. It also points us to and connects us with our future.
Back to the point I made in the beginning.
We’ve been through many stresses the past couple of years, a lot of changes. It may be that maintaining some familiar traditions and rituals may be just the thing to provide some stability and rootedness. We need a reminder that there was life before COVID, and life will continue after it finally does diminish. Whatever we can do to create some fun, laughter, and connection with our past and our future will help us thrive with whatever may come our way.
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Related posts:
https://cliffordberger.com/write-your-own-memoirs-a-life-worth-living-is-a-story-worth-telling/
https://cliffordberger.com/the-homes-that-build-us-how-our-places-and-spaces-shape-our-lives/
