why your daydreams matter–everyone daydreams

Posted on September 28, 2020

Why your daydreams matter…

I remember in grade school watching the clock crawl toward 3:30pm, the time when I would be set free from my captivity.

One of the things that helped me survive those anguished minutes was daydreaming.

I imagined myself as all kinds of heroes, often as a bold explorer or frontiersman. One book that captured my imagination in about the fifth grade was The Swiss Family Robinson. To an eleven year old boy, the idea of being shipwrecked on an island, needing to survive by wits and perseverance, was a delicious escape.

Sometimes, for me, it still is.

I remember that some of my report cards from those years informed my parents that I daydreamed too much.

But is it something we can just stop? Or should we even try?

Daydreams and fantasies matter.

Everyone daydreams, and toys with mental fantasies.

Various studies have revealed that nearly half the thoughts of many adults are along the lines of daydreams and fantasies. Often these imaginings are on something heroic or dramatic, or else rooted in something positive but seemingly more attainable (like a promotion, a new house, etc.).

You may remember James Thurber’s 1939 novella, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Evidently based on Thurber’s own life, Mitty was an ordinary man, living an ordinary life. As an escape from that life, he would imagine himself at the center of great adventures. These fantasies included being a US Navy pilot in a storm, a famous and skilled surgeon, a deadly assassin, a heroic RAF pilot on a daring mission, and a fearless target of a firing squad, nonchalantly tossing his cigarette aside moments before the rifles speak.

Walter Mitty may be a bit of a comic character, pitied for having his “head in the clouds.” But who of us do not have our Walter Mitty moments? Imaginary fancies that take us away from our problems, and allow us to become someone else for a bit?

We certainly don’t want to live in such fantasies. Too much of them can be counterproductive. But I wonder if daydreams get an unfair rap?

Consider these positive possibilities that may come with allowing some mental flights of fancy.

Daydreaming can be a form of mental play and creativity.

We need to regularly exercise the various capacities of our brains. Some parts of the brain deal with logic and problem solving. Some specialize in processing emotions. And some parts of our brains engage with creativity and fancy. Our brains need to engage with all of these abilities, and more, in order to be healthy and whole. Evidently, when we are daydreaming, our brain shuts off some of the analytic and empathetic processes. Our brains don’t want to be creative, analytic, and empathetic all at the same time. So leave some space for all of these processes in their own time.

We need to play as much as we need to work. We encourage people to take vacations, engage in sports, hobbies, and other forms of play. Why can’t we see mental daydreams and fancies as a bit of a “play” break as well? There is no cost, and need only take the time we allow it.

I would suggest that great storytelling begins as a daydream or imagination.

If people only thought in terms of realism, without fantasies, we likely wouldn’t have The Lord of the Rings, The Chronicles of Narnia, or the Harry Potter stories. These stories, as well as movies such as the Star Wars series and so many others, sprang from someone’s imagination and fantasy. Even the Rocky series began with Sylvester Stallone imagining himself as a hardscrabble boxer who rises to glory. How many youngsters have dreams of the same, or something like it?

Our brains and lives need space to play and to imagine. Daydreams–even of the Walter Mitty sort–can occupy that space in surprisingly productive ways.

Len Sweet, in his book The Well-Played Life, makes the point that we don’t “work” a violin. We play the instrument. Mastering it may require great effort, but effort and play do not need to be at odds with one another.

And speaking of music and instruments, if not for artists who gave themselves to musing and mental imaginations, we would be without music, poetry and art. So just maybe, your daydreams can help release that creative person within you.

Daydreaming helps us imagine beyond what normally seems possible

Often dreams are contrasted with goals, with goals being seen as more noble because they are practical and attainable. But if we only thought in terms of what we could realistically achieve, our accomplishments would be limited.

Think of those who imagined one day taking flight, into the skies and beyond. What once seemed but a dream and wild fantasy, resulted in air travel and space flight. If humans had locked themselves into only what seemed achievable, we would be without many of the inventions and explorations that imagination and daydreaming has made possible.

In our own lives, we may not achieve the fantasies and daydreams, at least in their entirety. But having them might open the possibility of realizing at least some part of them. Those of us in midlife may feel like we’ve outlived our dreams, and need to lean into hard reality.

There is evidence that people daydream less as they get older. Likely because the future, and future possibilities, can start to grow smaller. I can relate to this, at the age I am. It can become easier for the mind to dwell on memories rather than dreams of a future. Dwelling on memories isn’t bad either (I do it all the time), but even as you age, leave some room for thoughts of what could be. Perhaps memories are like daydreams, but in reverse.

I suggest that we live in our realities, yes, and take care of our responsibilities. Of course. There can be too much of a good thing. But allow time for dreams, daydreams, and imaginations–and even memories– to at least open the doors a crack for what might be out beyond that which is.

Realistic daydreaming may help us achieve goals or solve problems

As our minds wander, and creativity and imagination kicks in, we may find ourselves arriving at unexpected solutions to practical problems. Our daydreams allow us to reach into parts of the brain that are hard to activate with normal analytic thought.

As often as goals and dreams are juxtaposed, maybe they are not mutually exclusive. Some studies have suggested that certain types of daydreams may increase productivity. Participants creating time to daydream about a chosen goal demonstrated as much or more progress toward the goal as those who employed other interventions.

Let’s face it, when faced with problems that need to be solved, how can we afford not to engage all parts of our brain?

Daydream boredom away

Unfortunately, the smartphone has likely diminished our ability to deal creatively with “boredom.” When waiting for a doctor appointment, or in a line at a store, or some other place where we have to “hurry up and wait,” we’re inclined to simply pull out our phone and check messages and emails, scroll Instagram, etc. There’s no room for boredom. I do this too, I assure you.

But what if we just allow ourselves to just be bored once in a while? What if “boredom” had no meaning? If we just gave ourselves over to our thoughts? Letting your thoughts run free for a bit likely won’t cause any harm. You don’t always need to be consuming content. Let the brain rest, and not just while you’re sleeping. Sit in a comfy chair for half an hour, and see where your mind goes. Have a notepad at hand in case something worth noting comes to mind.

Who knows? Maybe the next great fantasy story is just waiting to be released…

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Why does time pass so quickly?