There is no normal life–there’s just life.
In the classic western film Tombstone (1993), one of many memorable scenes is the one where Wyatt Earp (Kurt Russell) comes to sit with his friend and fellow gunfighter, Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer), as Holliday lay dying of Tuberculosis.
As they begin their conversation…
Wyatt: How’re we feeling today, Doc?
Doc: I’m dying. How are you?
Wyatt: Pretty much the same.
They start playing cards, and a minute or so later, Doc muses about how he was in love once (with his 15-year old cousin).
Doc: She was all I ever wanted.
Then Doc asks Wyatt:
Doc: What’d you want?
Wyatt: Just to live a normal life.
Doc: There’s no normal life, Wyatt. There’s just life. Now get on with it.
We could probably agree that Wyatt Earp lived anything but a “normal life,” even by standards of his day. Even so, normal is what he longed for, whatever that looked like to him.
But Doc Holliday speaks a certain truth in this scene. Keep in mind it is a movie, and there’s no evidence that the real Doc Holliday said this. Even so, many Hollywood films have scenes and lines that communicate something profound. And this is one of them.
There is no normal life. There’s just life.
We’ve been in the midst of a global pandemic the past year and a half. Along with all kinds of other crises (political, economic, storms and fires, etc.). During this time we’ve heard lots of talk about getting “back to normal.” All of us long for some sort of stability, some sense that there is a “normal” out there, a re-set, a return to the way things were.
And of course, beyond the global crises, each one of us has our own life to live. We have our own personal challenges, crises, stresses, as well as times of joy and satisfaction.
But what is this “normal” to which we seek to return? What does normal look like, and is there even such a thing? What is the baseline for “normal”?
Most of us see “normal” as conforming to some sort of regular pattern. Something that is typical or routine. It is true that many of us do experience days, even frequently, that fit within the boundaries of what we want or expect. Days when we go about our business uninterrupted, without anything going sideways. No flat tires, no clogged toilets, no especially bad news. Good days, overall, days that include laughter and joy.
Is that normal life?
Because there are other days, or even extended periods of time, where life is one challenge after another. Sometimes things that are troublesome or stressful at the time, although not crises on the grand scale. Other times, when unexpected illnesses, deaths, financial calamity, etc., interrupt our lives. Times when we are tempted to say, “Why me?” Perhaps we could also ask, “Why not me?”
Is that normal life?
Has there been a period in history that is normal? On the world stage anyhow? Any time in history when everything was just the way it should be? And then stayed that way?
Depends on who you were, or what country you were in, or what people group you belonged to. What may have seemed normal and desirable to some was a time of dire catastrophe to someone else.
Some people may long for the life someone else is living, someone who seems to have it all together and not be wrestling with one challenge after another. Someone else, whose life is more “normal” than their own.
Wishing for someone else’s (normal) life may be tempting, but it is pointless. We have our life to live, to make of it what we will. We cannot always control or script out the personal challenges we may face. Just as we were blindsided by a virus we could not control at will, one that has left a permanent mark on our lives and our world.
We look forward to COVID running its course, and not having to work our lives around it. We do, I get it. But once that has diminished, what else will we contend with? Things that continue to intrude on our sense of normalcy, and leave us fighting to find that baseline where all is right?
That baseline may not exist. Indeed, we may well enjoy times when things are going smoothly, and our stresses are few and far between. Be grateful for those times. Nearly all of us want to live life that way. All. the. time.
But is that normal? Or are these good times just life? And when we experience crisis or tragedy, is that normal? Or is that also just life?
As we maneuver our way into the future, let’s focus less on “getting back to normal,” and more on moving forward with living. Living, with all of its ups and downs, joys and sorrows, dark days and bright days. Living, with the things we can control, and living with the things we cannot. This is life, not a dress rehearsal.
Don’t just wait for life to return to “normal.” Normal may be hard to find, it may not be what you expect, or it may be disappointing. Live going forward. As Doc Holliday said, “Get on with it.”
After all…
There’s no normal life–there’s just life.
_________________________________________________
Related Posts: https://cliffordberger.com/ordinary-life-extraordinary-influence/
https://cliffordberger.com/how-to-thrive-in-the-harvest-season-of-life/
